I'm a huge proponent of following your heart.
But right now, sadly, I can't.
The minute perky Ryan Seacrest dropped the giant ball in Times Square, and the year 2022 made her sassy debut, my life went every which way but up.
Ryan forgot to mention the things that could—and did—go wrong in the new year, or should I say in my new year.
I don't want to be a whiny baby, so here's an abbreviated version of my 2022:
BIG MESS.
Now, before you break out the violins…
I know I'm not the only one whose cup is overflowing with chaos. Take a look at the state of the world right now. I think a lot of lives are moving every which way but up. And, as I've recently discovered, when that happens, it's a guarantee that you can't have what you want—not immediately, anyway.
So my new normal is moving forward with my head, not my heart. Apparently, The Universe has the upper hand, and my heart's desires are on hold.
Let me just say ... I hate this.
(Stop me if I start to sound like that whiny baby.)
I hate this because it feels like I'm living life without the magic, and I need the magic, oh, how I need the magic.
But when Life kicks your you-know-what, you're being pushed to grow. Sometimes, that means you're stopped in your tracks. And no matter how much you beg, plead, bargain (and whine), you cannot continue in the direction you’re headed.
Maybe you started down a brand new path, full of promise and endless possibilities, only to be catapulted (or dragged kicking and screaming) back to your old one (*raises hand sheepishly*).
Maybe you landed that sweet, dream job, which turned into a nightmare and ended with a burly security guard giving you the side-eye while you emptied your desk.
Maybe you fell in love. But it's another Love T.K.O.
No matter what events brought you to your knees, you've been derailed and, subsequently, disappointed. And, like me, you probably don't like it.
So what do you do?
You accept.
You accept what happened and where you've landed. Because, guess what, not everything is in your control. You're being asked to surrender. And as the self-proclaimed Queen of Resistance, I can tell you it's not easy.
But once you raise the white flag and lean into your current circumstances, your mind eventually stops spinning, and everything slowly rolls into sharp focus.
What's in front of you? What do you need to face, that up until now you haven't been willing to face? Is there something you need to complete? Something you need to start? Maybe something you need to let go of?
I need to attend to the nitty-gritty of my life, and (*whine whine*) I don't want to.
I want adventure, romance, sparkling, new scenarios. I want a plethora of possibilities to choose from. But instead, I need a medical procedure, a work reboot, a financial overhaul, a love makeover, and a coming to terms with the very recent, very unexpected death of yet another close friend.
Can't follow my heart right now (although I want to). But I can't sit and do nothing (although I want to). And no one's going to save me (although I wish someone would). So?
Follow my head.
Put one foot in front of the other. It's one step at a time (baby steps are acceptable): Call the doctor and get on his schedule. Tweak a page on my website. Call the bank (even if I'm not sure what to say). Take my heart back. (Note to self: Don't give it away again.) Grieve for my friend, and then grieve some more.
Following your head works when you're stuck in the muck and want to escape to Fantasy Island because anywhere seems better than where you are.
Following your head makes sense when your life is out of control. So send that email, make that call, say what needs to be said, and take your power back.
When you're being rerouted, things don't look how you think they should. Life is working something out for you behind the scenes. You don't know. Maybe people, places, and things are lining up in your favor. Your job is to be patient, take care of business, and stay out of the way.
And the magic?
Well, bibbidi-bobbidi-boo, I haven't had any visits from my fairy godmother lately.
But the magic doesn't come from "out there." It starts within. By that, I mean we generate thoughts and feelings that create magic. And if we believe, we can find it anywhere, even in the ordinary.
I'm feeling cheated. I want immediate access to magic with a WOW factor, like that glitzy Christmas ball at the nearby castle. (Actually, I hear that glitzy Christmas balls are highly overrated. But still ...) I want to say goodbye to the mundane and whirl and twirl and dance the night away (only until the stroke of midnight, of course).
But it looks like that's not in the cards at the moment. Life has a different plan for me today, and she's made it clear that I need to obey orders.
So, like it or not, I'd better get busy with my duties. And while I'm at it, I might as well slip on a pair of imaginary sparkle glasses. Who knows? Maybe I'll find my magic after all ... in the mundane.